My response to a question posed in my leadership class

So, what are your personal feelings about gender and leadership? And how do you think you formed these

personal feelings?

I feel that many women are well suited for leadership. Just looking at the demographic of our leadership class illustrates this fact. There are nearly equal men to women. There is nothing wrong with women working in the home as wives and mothers. That is a tough job that takes tremendous leadership ability, but women also deserve a shot at leadership outside of the home. Men should have a chance at working in the home too, without any stigma if that is what they want. There are too many unnecessary stigmas and barriers for men and women both. I think my beliefs on gender are so progressive because of my background. I was a foster child and a teenage parent. There have been many people in my life telling me what I could and could not do, some reasons good and some bad. When I grew up and became a woman, I had a hard time being told no just based on my gender alone. Everything else can be changed and improved, but I cannot stop being a female. This is why I am so head strong and independent. In addition, it is the reason why I am so insistent upon a career that will give me power and authority.  I have never had much power or authority, but I think I will rise to the occasion. Every woman should be given opportunities for power and authority, because the same desire for it in a man would never be discourage.

We must.

As I sit here on a quiet and sunny Sunday afternoon, my daughter and husband quietly read to my left on the sofa, I cannot stop thinking about violence. This is unfortunate because as I said, it is a lovely day. I should relish in it, but I can not. The minister of my church delivered a sermon today which moved me to tears. The main theme was nonviolence. He read off the names of the victims from the Aurora, Colorado shooting. They were real people. It is easy to forget that. In the giant mess of such a horrible mass murder, the names and faces of those most affected are easy to lump together and forget. But we must not do that. They are real people. Many churches across the country in the aftermath of this tragedy have had sermons encouraging congregants to get saved because you never know when your time is up. I am glad I do not go to a church like that.

What does it matter to get saved? What does that even mean? Does it mean you go to heaven? What is heaven exactly? What is hell? I think I know the answer to that last one. Hell is being gunned down in a movie theater at midnight, especially as a six year old. I imagine that little girl was having a wonder time that night. She was probably so delighted to be included in all the fun. She got to stay up late, and probably even got to have candy and soda well after midnight. I know my own daughter would have been on top of the world had it been her. That is such a lovely image, but never forget her true last moment on this earth was complete terror as a strange young man in full body armor, armed to the teeth, shot an automatic weapon into her tiny body. Her name was Veronica Moser-Sullivan. She was a real little girl and now she is really dead. Hell is being Veronica's mother. Having survived those moments of terror to wake up in the hospital to find that your beloved daughter has died a terrible violent death. I don't think this is what Jesus had in mind.

I saw a picture of the gunman recently that also moved me to tears. He is staring blankly ahead, wild red-orange hair a messy mop on his head. He looked so frightened and helpless. If I had been close enough to him to touch in that moment, I would have been compelled to hug him. Because that is what you do when someone has that look on their face. He looked as though he didn't have a friend in the world. Many have vowed that given the opportunity they would like to carry out many number of atrociously violent acts upon this young man. This isn't the way. This is not what Jesus had in mind.

When we left church today, humbled and renewed, we decided to stop off for a burger and fries at the best burger and fry joint this side of the Mississippi, Braum's. While I was waiting on my burger, I thought I would peek at my facebook and check on my friends. Everywhere was news of yet another deadly shooting. This time it was in Wisconsin, and this time at a place of worship. The reason is not yet clear, but is there ever a good reason for this violence? Seven more people are dead and the shooter. One story I read had accompanying comments from the readers. The very first comment read, "Have the liberals blamed the tea party yet?" I was baffled by this and nearly wept again. Before we've even learned the names of the victims, before we know the reasons for yet another unspeakable act of terrorism, and even before have taken the opportunity to comfort the families of the dead, we are laying blame, drawing lines in the sand and choosing sides. What madness! What is wrong with us? THIS IS NOT WHAT JESUS HAD IN MIND.

I cannot make sense of these senseless acts of terrorism. I think it is impossible. I don't think any of us need saving by God. We need to save ourselves and save each other from the Hell we have created for ourselves. We need to do good and do no harm in our lives. Our lives are so short. I think the true meaning of being saved is to be saved from one's own selfishness, and make this world just that much less hellish in our lifetime. The violence must stop. We must have compassion for each other. We must have compassion for the victims, as well as the aggressors. WE MUST. WE MUST. WE MUST.  Jesus didn't own a gun and this is not what he had in mind.

Color me...

Since this is my first blog post, naturally I could not think of a single thing to write.

I tried to think of something. Think. Think. Think. It is Harry Potter's birthday which is a shared celebration with his creator, JK Rowling. But no, not this time. Some post soon, I am sure, will be all about HP, and then I will have to come out of the nerd closet, but not yet. Tomorrow is the first day of the forth grade for my nine year old daughter, Olivia. That is certainly an interesting topic, but again...no. Maybe another time after she has had the time to tell me all the juicy details, which I will relay to you in full first day of school glory.

So sorry. I digress.

Finally, I decided to peruse the information conglomeration that is the World Wide Web. I found many interesting prompts. I want to express who I am in this first post. Tall order, I know. So I tried for find a prompt that will allow me to achieve this creatively.

The prompt I found (thank you so much lynhawks.com) is titled "Color Me...". It begins by quoting Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

"I have a dream my four little children will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character."

Beginning with an MLK quote is very promising. I am a tad ashamed to say that I had not read the iconic "I Have a Dream" speech in its entirety until today. It is beautiful. Dr. King was such a remarkable speaker.

Again, sorry. I digress.

What if we ignored our skin color, though it is surely unique and beautiful, but instead assigned a color (red, purple, blue, green, yellow, or orange) to the content of our character remembering that there is no bad color. Each color brings with it lovely and necessary qualities, that must help to balance the rest. Kumbayah. What about the essence of a person can be represented by a color? I feel that this is a deeply personal question. Here I go!

Color me...green.

If you've ever taken any art class, no matter how brief, you know that green is a secondary color which shows itself when yellow and blue mix. Naturally, I would pick such a complicated color. There is little straight forward about me. I feel like I am many things, and I hate being labeled. Sometimes I am bright and bubbly, which is yellow. Sometimes I am calm, contemplative, and quiet, which is blue.

Blue is a cool color. I mean that it is cool to the touch, both physically and emotionally. Compassion and kindness are blue. Initially, I imagined I was purple, but I realized quickly that is impossible. Purple is much to sexy. This comes from the contribution of red, which is passionate and fiery. I bet Sophia Vergara is red.

Passionate red + mysterious blue = Sexy and seductive purple

Yellow, on the other hand, is bright and shiny. I am very bright, in intelligence and disposition. I am friendly; yellow is very friendly.Yellow does get me out of my shell which is good. Again, because of red, I could never be an orange. The mixture of passion (red) and exuberance (yellow) create quite a handful of a person. My daughter is very Orangey.




But this is not about her.

So together, my duel personalities, yellow and blue, create my whole self, which is green. Green is natural, earthy, and adventurous. I am hungry for knowledge and new experiences, but I also love my old habits. I like things that I can depend upon. Despite my lack of red, I am passionate, just in a different way. My passion is more patient. I am a passionate defender and advocate for my daughter. I am also a passionate defender and advocate for myself, a rather recent development. I have a calm patience that can only be achieved through learning from many mistakes, my own and others', and a fair amount of maltreatment and suffering.

Greens tend to be gracious, so I wouldn't take anything back which made me a green. I love myself completely. You take the good; you take the bad; you take them both, and there you have the facts of life... the facts of life.

Hello world!!!

This will be fun. I will try to write interesting things. I have interesting thoughts, and I am excited to get them out of my head. Wish me luck!!!